Mitchell-Lama Mama’s Blog

an ordinary life in an extraordinary city

Motherhood and Martyrdom January 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mitchelllamamama @ 2:41 pm
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To be trite, these economic times are hard.  In Mama’s house, they’ve become really hard.  I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning, which then turns into being annoyed with myself for feeling this way.  


I am one of those people who believes that when you have children, you make a choice to put them first.  Always and forever.  Sometimes this gets a bit tricky when you have more than one child, and you have to measure which one has the greatest need at the moment.  But always they come first.  I don’t mean you turn into a martyr the moment they’re born (though it surely feels that way during labor).  Funny, when I think of the word martyr I don’t think of any of the great religious or political figures, I think of that scene towards the end of  Stephen King’s The Stand. Trashcan Man is dragging a nuclear weapon out of the desert as an offering to the Dark Man, his hair and Swiss cheese mind mostly gone, “My life for you, Ci-bola…”  What can I say?  I’m a product of pop culture. 


I recieved a little cash for Christmas.  I put half towards bills, and kept the other half, planning to put it into something(s) new for the tank.  But it isn’t going to work that way, not this time.  So I guess this post is my way of scolding myself to suck it up and move forward, cause I know that money needs to be spent on more practical things.


On the bright side, it’s definitely warmer today, and the girl has had an excellent couple of days.  So I’m off to cook the next batch of doggie gumbo.  Hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday.


8 Responses to “Motherhood and Martyrdom”

  1. shoesan Says:

    I’m sorry you are beating yourself up all around. Don’t mama. We do what we have to do AND it SUCKS. I went through this with my mama this Christmas. She wanted to give me cash and I wanted her to get me clothes. I tried to tell her the cash would just go towards bills (gently) She didn’t get it. SO I ended up with NADA. sigh. I am so happy the girl is having excellent days. THAT is a bright side!
    I am dreaming of warm sunny days. For now I am loving Lazy Sundays and 3 day weekends.
    I have to say, doggie lives the good life 😉 lmao

  2. mitchelllamamama Says:

    Thanks Shoesan. You’re right, we do what we have to do, even when it sucks. I’m sorry you understand so well. Whoever said that misery loves company was wrong.

    I hope you’re enjoying the three day weekend, and that today can be lazy for you also. : ) It is wonderful that the girl is having some excellent days, I love all these smiles.

    Tee hee, doggie also thinks he’s living the good life, and yet I’m doing it to save $. It’s nice when things work out that way, to say the least.

  3. cmscribbles Says:

    Mama~ you’re allowed to feel a bit sorry for yourself… just don’t park there! 😉

    It is honorable that you take care of your children and practical things…maybe it will help to remember that sacrificing whatever it was you might have bought for your reef tank definitely isn’t going to make a whole lot of difference in the long term… whereas investing in your children definitely will.

    That’s not to say that you shouldn’t splurge on mama once in awhile because you definitely need to keep yourself balanced and nourished–and it is honorable to take care of yourself too! so next time spend the Christmas money quicker! 😀

    I’m glad it is warmer for you and the girl has had a couple of excellent days!

  4. cmscribbles Says:

    your–> you’re
    is there any way to go back in and edit after clicking “submit comment” ???

  5. mitchelllamamama Says:

    *I fixed it for you, not sure if you can go back and edit your comments, but I can 😉

    cmscribbles, Really, having the tank at all is a splurge. 🙂 I’m not sure if I consider it honorable to take care of the children. While I do consider it dishonorable if a mother does not take care of her children, I think it’s just what should be. Like I tell my kids, you do the right thing because it’s the right thing. Period. Honorable, to me, is above and beyond. Is it valuable? Definitely. Worthwhile, absolutely. ❤

  6. cmscribbles Says:

    interesting that if a mother does not take care of her children you consider it dishonorable but that if she does you don’t consider it honorable. hmmm. I see your point about “do the right thing because it’s the right thing. period” really I do– but I do believe that doing the right thing for the right reasons is honorable. I’m not saying you do it for a medal or recognition–but I do believe it can still be an appropriate way to describe it.

    In my book–your actions are honorable 😀

  7. Philly Mom Says:

    Wow, this post is my life right now. Money that was gifted to me and trying to decide if I should get what I want (hey, cmscribbles says this is alright!), or do the honorable (?) thing by getting kids’ haircuts, new socks, etc. Decisions, decisions.

    As a stay-at-home Mom we just don’t have guilt-free money very often, so I am VERY tempted to get somethings I’ve been eying all year.. after all, people aren’t gifting us so we can get the kids’ haircuts… ah, but to put necessities on the credit card isn’t fun, either. It seems we are between a rock and a hard place.

  8. mitchelllamamama Says:

    Ahh, Philly Mom, it is a tough one. 😦 I hadn’t thought about it in quite those terms, but I like that, “guilt free money.” Somehow, though, the phrases stay at home mom and guilt free seem to be at direct odds with each other. Whatever you decide, it’s got to be something that makes you feel good for more than 5 minutes. 🙂

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